....wish i wrote the date(s).

here are some excerpts from my thoughts on written page. sometimes i'd get carried away, other times i was entranced and other times i just felt the need to write i guess. my handwriting is never the same, odd how emotions inflict the curvature of the letterforms. neat. i didn't once write the date. i'm assuming these started sometime in April of this year. too bad you can't see the handwriting, i'll try to mimic it as best i can... enjoy the read. listen to ray lamontagne.



mindless mind-forged mannacles
dissipate into the darkness.

who is love and what is God?

"I am."
How did i find myself here?
why did i let myself fall here?
am i really happy?
nobody knows.

man dude.. fuck.

you told me you loved me
i just didn't know you were in love
my head's been so twisted
i can barely trust myself
but i know that i can and deep down
i know that i can be in love
i just don't know what to do
i know what i want
but i'm just really not sure
how i'll be able to come back from fl.


-




if that's what people believe, that's what they believe.
wisdom comes from insight and knowledge based upon experiences
that have given you part of who you are. how dare someone
question a thought with pre-existing negative conotations?
it's a matter of taking things for granted... like, the
first thing i take for granted is other people probably,
sometimes it's hard for me to just be open to people
about the ideas & principles i so live by, in normal
conversations. I didn't go to public school in elementary
school, and i did a lot of traveling in those years.
Middle school and High School i was in organizations
that gave me the outlet to go wherever i chose -
being in that orginization was the choice to go to
any of those places... so, i saw / experienced
different lifestyles *life*. Things are different. Becoming
a part of the whole world and in some aspect
being 'exploited' doesn't sound appealing. unless, it
was for a skate video. But, in all honesty i love women.
I want a girl so bad, everybody deserves to be loved.
the hard thing is, how to open up my heart,
my sweetheart is miles away and i'm dreaming
but i'm not sleeping, time keeps truckin'
and i'm driving a train, we're going to sleep in this
truck in my mind and i got nothin' to eat i got everything i need
there's nothing i want, i'm here to let life live and giving
effort for everyone to be able to sleep, eat, work and
receive more than you're giving. the rules are clear, be simple
with a slow mind opening; by giving you receive what the world
is getting. the night is gone, did someone dim the lights?
is the city sleeping? where are the living?
oh how old it gets,
How old are you?
HOPE. we must be living.
Oh, how long we been here?

go to the beginning
go to the beginning
oh how long we been here?
the world we leven home of the living
oh oh oh ho ho that's all i'm saying
hope is all we need it's hope we're living.
People everywhere oh don't you know now we're living

oh oh oh, ohohohohh
people everywhere
can't yuh see? oh oh do you see?
let's go let's go let's go somewhere
mmhmm hm hmm

-humming-
the world that we live in
how long has it been here?
how long you been liven?
the years are getting long
pretty soon they'll be gone

we're all living on
living on, living on h ah uh ah ahnnnn

while the world keeps spinnin
my head is turning yeah and
i'm dreaming but i'm not sleepin'
and i know that i should be standing
but my angel of death has yet to find me,
and why are people overrated? i'm hated,
people don't understand it people talk around it
think my mind is educated, people say ?
I don't know I don't know I don't know
purple skies in the rain
i'm swimming with fish
nowhere to go and i'm tired
of being lonely, i need something
and i know what it is i can't understand it why am i here?

my hair is gone but it still feels there.
skateboarding is art.
take a part, throw a dart,
everyone farts its on the charts
oh people oh people you are my friends
life is i am, death is i was
a love never to fall apart.
she was a stranger as she looked at me
we were destined to be set free
oh destined to be set free,
our hearts had it all and i know that.
you know it when you look into me
i told her i love her i told her i cared
and time didn't wait and i blew it
I gave her all that i have and i lost her
i wasn't glad when it was over, wishing
she wasn't dim, we knew we could see us
again someday drinking in the park.
please tell me now, i can go home
i think we should go i think we should
go to sleep.
We'll rise in the morning and wake to the day
oh beautiful girl what are you doing today?
I have been sleeping and I'm still hanging on and on
be still, child. You will find it all around, it's everywhere
it's everywhere you are, close eyes let's dream for awhile


-



isn't that the truth?
it's like sitting in a telephone booth
without any money or anyone to call.

step outside of the inside and find
the inside of the out, where the apple
fell and all the ants rejoiced
but the bird did not sing and the bees
were no longer making honey nor
did the flowers pollenate.
A decadent land where grass grew tall,
trees fall on top of old graves
while not a lumberjack was happy.

isn't that the truth?
sunlight shining down through rays
of violet, casting deep green shadows
in the mist where we shared a kiss,
a flash of bliss, way out in the distance
a sparrow sings his song only to hear
a deaf lioness howling, any other response
than possibility would have done for simplicity
like the times of log cabin houses deep
within the wood. Lost within the mountain,
a jungle of emotions tangling thought like
a spider to a dragonfly. Butterfly's escape.


-


there you were
all alone
with nobody by your side

i offered my opinion of your life
to no success was my voice


-


How long must I wait?
How long must we wait?
I have a lotta patience
but ain't got reassurance
How long must i wait
to have you by my side?

We could rule the world
together, just you & me
i gotta lot to offer
can't ya see
i got this song, a melody
and about 14.63

money don't own me babe
that little thing can come & go
like a cardinal to my bird seed
and Ya wouldn't even know

i've been walkin' and
i've been thinkin'
bout this little thing
i'd like to call you and me

I've been talkin and
I've been drinkin
over this little ole thing
called you and me

well wouldn't ya know it
I ain't got it to show,
ya see, talk & money
just ain't my cup'a tea
i got too many places to go
to think over coffee bout
that thing called you & me


-


(this is a love song.)

Babe, it's Thursday. Last time
I seen ya was three days ago
and ya know I'm feelin' blue
we ain't gotta complicate but I
don't wanna wait to see you, again
Again and again. But that's just
how I feel. Deep down I know I'd
probably end up leavin ya for good.
This town ain't big enough for me.
Unless i got my lil ole lady right there by my side.

we could go far out by the countryside,
you can pick where. I told ya
I don't care so much as long as you're there
with me just a truckin' along.

Where you wanna go babe?
Italy? Spain? England? I'll take you there.
what's that ya say, New Zealand?
why, I hear they got nice air

Ya know somethin' honey? I gotta lot
on my mind not to think of somethin' funny,
when we met it was as if starring into
your eyes was like seein' everythin'.
It was all in that glimpse of two or three
seconds that I knew one day we'd be together
singin' n carry'n on about love and life...
hell, I thought if I played my cards right
you'd cook me a homestyle dinna every night
and i'd carry ya to bed like a newly wed.

I tell ya it wouldn't matter
how long we been here, there or
together that I'd still feel the same
way bout you then as i do now

I'll treat ya kind, love you tender
and raise a coupla young men
with ya one day. Far by the sea
where the wildlife lives abundantly

no other woman ever made me feel
the way I do talkin' to you. Baby,
bein' by yourside makes me warmer
than fresh apple pie on a winter's day.
Blueberry cobbler's purty good too
if ya ever wanna make it for me.
It's hard to imagine my life without
a wonderful girl like you to love
day-in and day-out, frankly I don't like to.
But babe if ya ain't comin' with me
by Saturday you Know i'll be on the next train
to skiptown...




woo-hoo! hea she comes!


Oh, baby I love you, too!
We better be goin though,
we gotta lot to do
if we ever gonna make it in this world!



C'mon now let's ride!




i sure will by happy
when I got my lil old lady
sittin' pretty right by my side.



-


time is infinite
[i figured out how to write the word time into the infinity simble]



-



i'm talkin' 'bout your brother & sister
i'm talkin bout your ma and pa
I'm talkin bout the ones you love

exchanging people for the things you "love"
thoughts like memories you can't erase
things that make you what you are

Im talkin bout what makes you
stay up late. Maybe bout how you
think all night. Babe I tell you
sleep is best. forget the rest
and you will do just fine

Ya leave the nest to do the rest
not really knowin what comes next
all you know is love is in your chest

You needed love to keep you happy,
warm and cozy like a cup of tea
please keep me warm i'm goin' crazy
i might just need a re-adjustment
maybe even a new fuckin' stove
If you keep me hot i'll give ya all ya need
no greed or hunger where I come from
all you feel is the love that's real and-
on a line the fish is squirmin, like a dove
in an apple - the worm is waitin, baitin, not hatin'
what it sees - life



-



goin' to live in the mountains
where man can be the nature he claims
with senses.

gonna marry my honey in the plains
beside the hills full and grand
of joys
there
out west where untouched marvels
gaze at you in the face, asking you
to listen
for
our souls connected through the whispering
music of traveling trees swayin' back
and forth
within
the universe sings its beloved planet Earth
into existence, calling out my name
to come.




-





love fills the air like a steamboat
trapped in a garage - runnin' at full speed
you'll see that it's really hot and sticky

get it thru your head
that pain is like a vast, dark pit
and only makes ya feel like shit

who said your thoughts needed rhythm?
the only thing that needs a beat
is you and me in the back seat
oh wouldn't that be a treat?

but I'm too far away to pick you up,
my life's door has been half shut.
Let's just call it a lesson learned
and move on.

the desecration of a pear tree
the falling of a tear in love,
steaming into the air it's so hot.
don't know if i should love it or hate it,
guess i'll just tell it fairtheewell
and throw up my sail for
my love is drawn by the wind

ahhhh! not the flat bar!

hard is weak, soft is strong.

lala is one of the best things i've discovered in awhile, thanks pat.

finally got a new back tire for my bike, it only took what a month? almost? maybe? probably? definitely?


yep, got some manchester select's.. hope they're good.

still trying to go filming..


i think i found something....


















happy holidays, ya'll

hmm.. happy thanksgiving

yep.

take a nap, breathe in sighs, dream of everything, think about nothing...

it's always interesting to look back on your life and discover your path. Looking back, i see a trail in the woods. I wonder what other people invision, like maybe looking back and you just see a wake in the water, maybe you can't look back and all you see is the ground below you, whatever you can see its gotta be good... of course, it doesn't really matter, you're here now and thats what counts. i'm a firm believer in making your own destiny, choosing your life for yourself and creating a future to believe in. but regardless, it's nice to know that i can share parts if needed.... eventually we will all be together again, i can feel it in my bones.

hmm...

if only i could find the real thing.. i hear it's pretty expensive, though probably worth it...

been listening to a lot of jurassic 5 and donovan lately. yellow star is such an awesome song! troubadour trumps all.


also, rick mccrank has some new shoes out there...


my back is still out of commission. skated to 7-11 the other day, it held up but ollies were harder than nollies, it was the weirdest thing.


this could be my car? who cares about gas?!


recently discovered i like the taste of broccoli. never saw that happening either

i say i'm stayin' true to sound...

free form

my shadow is on the wall
my shadow is on the crawl
it can't hear me call
it can't see me fall

in the space between the shadow
is the deep void of space
and melodies of the old crow
hollowing out my hole

and my shadow is deeper than my soul
where my shadow is deeper than my soul
lies the battle of a begging ghoul
and the silence of a lion's howl

a young woman's voice cries out
dampened behind buldging eyes and snout
tears are anything but an empty vapor
steaming from the shadows of her failure

then my shadow has started to fade
when the sun goes down my shadow is made
the darkness of night is how i see bright
colors through the vision of shaped shadows

the sun has risen, far from this land
casting shadows of trees tall and grand
past the lake and by the sea
i watch them turn under me

let me sing with a great bellow
for i am the wayfaring swallow

1:06 - scared, scared.

fun times with the homies.. who said robots couldn't have feelings?

"Today's lesson: Love!"

that'd be a nice class to have in school......



her voice is lava

lol

rain is a bummer..

not bad!

looking forward to watching this video...

.

so, bummer about the colorado thing. some minor set backs but, i'll get there when my time comes. not going til fall '10 so plenty of time to visit. til then, i gotta find a snowboard, a vehicle, and maybe some other things i might have forgotten to mention

:)

i am going to colorado in less than two weeks for a few days... i'm so happy



and i got backside tailslides back today, super hyped on that.
skateboarding rules

had this band in my itunes for awhile now, it took my best friend since 3rd grade to play them while we were chillin the other day. now i really wanna hear Murs and 9th Wonder - Murs Day

the internet: worth your time?

http://spacecollective.org/projects/Polytopia/

what happened

to l^2 man? L-squared was a cool and happening place.. what's happn'n cap'n? maybe the chops got to him before he even realized what i was talking about.. maybe he needs a shepherd, i dunno


skateboarding has been good, i like my ollies. need a video camera, a car, lots of money, and way more time.. and skateboarding would be even better. am i right?



work pays. work=tiresome. work is work. which is why i am where i am right now, and i'm happy again. happy i won't be doing art for a career. as much as i love art and making art and all the rest, i came to the realization that i don't need schooling for it.. i only wanted it for some unbeknownst reason. i'd rather keep it simple for my own sake and do it for the enjoyment and relaxation of the process rather than crunching out art to put food on my plate. dig? looks like colorado may have to wait until fall '10. money, money, money.. money... money. i need a car, so.. yeah. gonna need that. that's where i'm at: saving money for the dream, man.. saving money for the dream...

...my feet hurt, and

.

i was browsing the internet when

i noticed some fancy footwork, apparently some famous person was born today. I was unaware of that. Then, I found out this cool place that is literally minutes away from where i'll be staying in a couple months.. All of the sudden i felt obliged to look up some things about the holy mountain. Mainly because I watched it last night for the upteenth time. REall y a good movie, i recommend it. I've been doing a lot of kickflips lately, they feel good when the board wraps up around your back foot and you hear that pup! when you catch 'em.. ahhh.. hopefully that dude gets someone to cover his shift at ihop.

yup.

slowly but surely, slowly but surely.

get a mac

amidst the anew

fairwell, lady richmond. I'm off to seek new horizons, for the love of my life. I will not forget the good, the bad or the ugly times I had in Richmond, much less Virginia. I will be off to Colorado within the year I'm hoping. We will see. If not, before next summer indeed. Off to the Rockies where I will be starting all over again, gotta love that start.. It's a brisk, fast paced thrill. Then it becomes a long steady pace full of bursts that make the original thrill come back into motion and eventually prepares you for that long-haul home. Word.

hmmmm...

a chance to skate the berrics.


welcome to destruction

a few happenings..

went to Raleigh a little bit ago.. never posted any photo's, so here are some...




































did alotta passenger-seat drivin'

goin'





a bit more...



Keep The Lights Shining


swear my cat is a ghost

my j-lay's smell so bad..

still a fan of fresca, amidst other Coca-Cola products..

My brother went to NYC and brought back some taxi-driver stunnaz for me

did a few drawings recently, too

birth

my hat

da tunes..

push more, drive less

if

you haven't checked the berrics today.. you should do that.


then go to 7-11 and get yourself a free slurpee.

pulling

for Gilbert on Saturday. How cool would it be to actually beat Kerry Getz in a game of skate? ha!

thunder moon

is tonight.


4th of july was nice, lots of fireworks is always fun.


other than that, not much going on.. gotta get some eggs squared away here soon.
going skateboarding all week


the berrics has some good content.
switch frontside 360 heelflips?
and nollie?

heard this song yesterday.. i'm a fan of it.

oh, yeah..

i like this song too

exile on main street...

the lonesome school boy in your town..



pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name.



and this guy is awesome...



not quite the jim improv, but still pretty classic. Of course, the doors were and still are the classic saga of rock'n'roll.. what're you gonna do about it? gonna fight it...gonna fight it...

4f's

code to live by...


keepin' up with the berrics?
wow, JT got slaughtered. I thought for sure he'd put a letter on Dennis.. but, "that fucker's good" is right.

does anybody else still listen to a reason for? i'd like to know.

been diggin' on some ray lamontagne again recently.. gossip in the grain is such a good album, but i think my favorite is still till the sun turns black. trouble reminds me of when i was younger, and gitg puts the imagery of wilderness in my imagination, just walking through the woods and fields thinking about my life or something...


does anybody really know what they're doing?

go skateboarding day

was yesterday and fun, i also got new shoes at the vans outlet.

i thought there was a scorpion on the wall, but it was just a push-pin.



merrily,
merrily,
merrily,
merrily,
life is
but a dream..

project58..

down in Raleigh, NC is pretty tight.
if you've never been you should go, it's fun.

got some pictures of the trip down there but maybe i'll upload them later when I can put my computer to the internet, until then i'm stuck with words.. but i'll try to illustrate something for you

it was quite spur of the moment, then i remembered if it rained maybe i'd get to skate project58 like all those cool post22 kids! and it rained, so i did. props to gilbert shredding that place, the handrail was fun though. very mellow, but hard to get speed, with 7 bearings... plus, there were mad groms. what did i expect? it was raining.

that said, better go skateboarding if it's not raining sunday

anonymously intentional content breathes originality

finally got a team put together for the city of Hampton..



'bout time.

doobie brothers!

june 24th...should be fun, looking forward to black water.


it'd be tight if they covered tumblin' dice..
got to roll me..
got to roll me..
ah yeah
got to roll me
ah baby
got to roll me
ahhh yeah
got to roll me..
ahh yeah
got to roll me
yeah
got to roll me
keep on rollin...

yes!

finally found this video in quality format.

que sera, sera..

they had it goin' on in the 50's, man.. Jay Livingston, Ray Evans and Doris Day.. hot damn.


but then of course, Sly and The Family Stone is way better any day...

l i s t e n

i love folk.

s u m m e r '09

It's summer time. hooray!

lot's of skateboarding, chillin', good times and hopefully making money.. and music.

don't forget to make some art and i'll see ya when i see ya. i'll be in hampton for most of the summer, but i'll make it to richmond when i can and i'll call who i can and we'll hangout, whatever.


be easy.

Keep On Truck'n

made a shirt tonight... had the idea a little while ago, finally put it to shirt.





had to take three pictures, didn't know why 'til i started to upload them.
it says "RoLLIon" inside the N-n because I was done and then started to think, keep on rollin', keep on rollin' on, Roll On.

Here's to:

-Sweet Virginia
-5:33am
-Skateboarding
-Culture
-Climbing Trees
-De Ja Vu
-Good Times
-Good People
-Good Living

t e c h n o l o g y

Friend or Foe?



you decide.

North Country Girl

Ox: dust bowl revival

IV

those of you who have twitter or a facebook, http://theskateboardfilmfestival.com/the-festival/ might have more updates than I do, but what a splendid idea. damn. why didn't i make that happen? tsk. thinkin' thinkin' thinkin' doesn't get as far as doing.

let's make it happen, cap'n.

scoobydoobydoo

where are you?
we've got some work
to do now...

venting.

apparently, pennies are an unacceptable format of currency. "Nah, nah, sorry, I can't accept pennies." Who will accept pennies nowadays? Unless they're rolled up, you can fucking forget it. That's epic bullshit. wtFuck

times is rough and tough like leather

because cash does seem to rule everything around me.


i need a job.

glad the rain has temporarily held back, today was a good day for skateboarding. good times...
this summer will be great for skating, all-encompassingly stoked on it.
:)
looking forward to june 21st.

forgot

i was living the dream there for a little bit.. but i'm back in it now, sorry about that.

happy

cinco de mayo!


and happy birfday to tim mu'fu'in lamb!

paranoid's antonym's window...

...is open
.